Easy Food Waste Wins

fresh-food-garbage-can-to-illustrate-waste-63217286

There’s been a lot of press grumble recently about the horrors of food waste in the UK, culminating this week in the East Of England Co-Op food stores announcing that they will now continue to sell dried and canned food past it’s best before date. This is a great move by the Co-op, for altruistic and PR reasons alike.

You may have heard the stats- more than 7 million tonnes of food waste is getting chucked in the bin every year in the UK and this has spawned all kinds of celebrity chef books and interweb offal recipes but why do we care? It’s only food, right?

Right. If you don’t despise the idea of paying to put stuff in the bin (weirdo) there is also the consideration to make that we are running out of landfill space. Your lovely government types also seem hellbent on removing every scrap of public service that they can get away with, and this includes your friendly neighbourhood binman. If I lived in a house roughly ten miles to the right of my own, my rubbish collections would be halved for austerity measures written by a bunch of suits who get a fully stocked free canteen every day. Any idea how much gets chucked out from there on a daily basis?
I digress.
Food waste is also potentially really shit for the environment- especially when you start pouring your out of date pint of semi skimmed down the sink or consider the extra CO2 miles involved in transporting all of your manky carrots and mouldy bacon to the local tip.

I could go on but I won’t, instead I’m going to chuck out a few ideas of how you can easily reduce the amount that you waste in your home without resorting to a biomass burner or bonebroth and gruel heavy diet. Make a change, man in the mirror, all that shiz. Here go.

Compost.

My compost bowl getting filled up!

As a gardening bore, compost availability is a direct indicator of my general quality of life. No, I don’t get out much actually, why do you ask???
On a serious note, if you have a garden then you have some call for compost and kitchen bits can really boost it by varying the nutrients and fibre availability from rotting down your garden waste alone. To be very clear, I am only talking about veg waste and eggs shells you do not want to put any meat, bones, dairy or bready produce into compost because it will go rancid and stink and attract rats and maggots and other such beauties. Any kind of raw or cooked fruit or veg, coffee grinds and some teabags* are fine compost fodder, eggs shells and the odd sheet of newspaper are also winning additions for your home made dirt. I’m not just talking about potato peelings and carrot tops here either. Forgot about that box of mushrooms in the back of the fridge for two weeks and now they look like they’re covered in ectoplasm?  Compost. Discarded lime wedges from your G&T? Compost. Peas, swede and cabbage left over from Sunday lunch plates (because there’s always room to finish the yorkshires)? COMPOST.
And don’t tell me compost is a pain. It isn’t. If you have 2 square feet spare in the back of the garden you can compost. Just buy a bin it won’t be more than £15 if you google shop and put it on some bare earth in the back and away you go (get one with a little hatch at the base).  Then keep a tasteful, over priced Compost Caddy handy for your trimmings or, if you are a Luddite like me you can just use a bowl and empty it out as you go. If it isn’t enough that you get to give a little bit back to your begonias next spring, you will also support worms and similar buggers in your garden and save yourself money on those horrid food waste bin liners.
Go extra- if you are a gardening fan save your cheese rinds, broken biscuits, cake scraps and apple cores for the bird table.

*check manufacturer info for these as some teabags contain plastics

Shop smart and shop late
I do the famed British ‘Big Shop’ once a week and by Wednesday I’m usually stopping in at our local convenience store of choice for top up items. Over the past six years of coupled bliss I have learned three many things from the Mr, including the unbridled joy of Vulture’s Corner- that little end section in the fridge aisle of yellow stickered wonders. Thanks to the often non-science used to calculate the BB4 date you will find all sorts of treats here with significant savings due to being within 24 hours of the fictional turn of the clock when all food turns to evil fairy dust. Not sure what to do for dinner? Look here first, and save yourself some money and the rest of us another couple of inches of landfill.
I feel it necessary to add that this tactic does not work if you buy stuff you don’t need or won’t use just becuase it has 80% off. Like 5 pints of milk for 30p when you live alone or three kilos of turkey mince that no one likes. Do however opt for anything that you can freeze but remember to do so as soon as you get home.
Go extra- stop buying stuff you don’t really like. Just stop. Life is too short to waste on quiona salads that never get finished. 

Go Flexitarian
I am honestly not one to push that V word on anyone, but there is mounting evidence out there that making a modest reduction in your consumption of animal produce has a significant impact on your own immediate health and that of the planet we all live on. I love meat and you can take my cheese from my cold dead hands but I stopped buying meat for weekday consumption about five months ago and I can’t say that we have suffered for it. In fact our weekly shopping bill has come down by about fifteen quid/ 25% for this and we very rarely find scary furry stuff in the fridge any more. It’s dead easy to let a broccoli rot away in the drawer when you have all that tasty chicken to put in a curry after all. By swapping out meat in most of our dinners we use a lot more long-life items like canned beans and lentils and never, ever miss our five-a-day veggie goal. This does not make us the vegan police, it has made us a bit better off though as most vegetables and pulses are cheaper than meaty options and last a lot longer.
Go extra- make an active choice to cut fresh meat from your Monday-Friday menu unless you have found a yellow sticker deal, then enjoy your Sunday roast all the more for it. 
Check Your Storage
It is amazingly easy to decrease the shelf life of your shopping with how you store your grub, and also easy to avoid. Take your veg out of the wee plastic bags before it goes in the fridge to keep air moving and avoid early slime spoilage. If you can’t keep your potatoes in the dark then at the very least avoid any direct sunlight on them and don’t keep bananas alongside your other fruit (unless you are trying to ripen them quickly).
Go extra- always keep strong tasting stuff in good quality sealed tupperware boxes in the fridge to avoid them tainting other foods. The worst offenders are onions, cooked eggs and strong spices. Chocolate is particularly susceptible to taking on bad tastes from the fridge too so make sure you eat it all at once or, if you do store it, keep it well sealed. 

Give It Away.
Give it away give it away now.
Ahem.
Remember that multi buy deal cereal thing you fell for only to discover that you actually hate museli? How about your home made hummus phase that died out before your chickpea stockpile was even slightly depleted? Get nine boxes of biscuits for Christmas when you’re starting a strict low carb regime on new years day?
Don’t chuck it. Please. Poverty is a shocking and consistent problem in the UK with a heart breaking number of families reliant on food banks and breakfast clubs to ensure that they hit three meals a day and while you might argue that this isn’t really your problem you can still be part of the solution. If you have in-date and hardy items in your cupboards that you are not going to eat then please,  please don’t throw them in the bin. Foodbanks provide essential aid to families who may well not be that far removed from your own and will accept that pack of pasta that you can’t eat on your Atkins plan with open armed glee. Many supermarkets have a foodbank collection point or you can look up your local one here: https://www.trusselltrust.org/get-help/find-a-foodbank/
Go extra- some food banks will also accept donations of cleaning items and toiletries if you can bare to part with that 1996 bottle of radox that you keep knocking off the end of the bath. 

 

a couple of additional links for the extra inspired:
http://www.wrap.org.uk/
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/may/06/more-than-8-million-in-uk-struggle-to-put-food-on-table-survey-says
http://www.approvedfood.co.uk

Advertisements

The ACV Challenge- The Write Up.

vinegar read the first part here

I have to start with both a disclaimer and an apology on this challenge report, which is some weeks late now. In my defense, I extended the period to two weeks as basically I wasn’t sure that anything had had the chance to change in just seven days. In further explanation to my tardiness, basically: NaNoWriMo. My free keyboard time has been otherwise engaged recently.

But here we are and here I am and what was I doing again? A tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar in a glass of water, first thing every day with the hope of some relief of IBS symptoms and potential other health boons as per acres of Broscience and circumstantial bumf on that there internet.

What happened? The diary notes started painlessly enough:

Day One: My shot of vinegary water at 0620 hours this morning was, perhaps shockingly, not something that I would call a pleasant experience. One tablespoon of ACV in a tumbler of cold water, blasted back all in one go. I thought this wouldn’t be so bad what with my usual affinity for food and drink on the winkier end of the flavour scale. Not so, my friends, not so. It’s minging. The general unpleasantness clears quickly, however.
Some hours later at the day job I am receiving a little bit of noise from the stomach area and a borderline unpleasant and mildly stripped sensation in the mouth not unlike when one eats too much grapefruit. My coffee tastes like crap, but that might be a user error (I’m looking at you, kettle colleagues).
As starting reference points, I had a craptastic nights sleep last night so it is hard to imagine that my start of week selfie wont be vastly improved upon later in the week. I am clad in my little red Next frock which was very snug in the tummy first thing. All is normal.

I am going to add at this point that I’m not sharing those selfies with anyone, I look like crap at half six on a Monday morning and no end of vinegar drinks is going to fix that. You don’t need to know.

Day Three: After another astringent start to the day yesterday I was not looking forwards to my shot this morning and I thought I might lessen the pain by diluting my ACV in a bigger glass of water. This was a mistake, as it just resulted in more stinky harsh vinegar water to get through before I could hit the crumpets, and I must admit to discarding about a fifth of it into the sink when my gag reflexes threatened to kick in. This must be why some people advocate making some weird kind of tea with warm water and honey to mask the taste but I will not be taking this step because A) Adding sugar to the mix defeats the object of the taking the vinegar as a a tonic to an empty stomach and B) I don’t have time for that shit, I already get up early enough thanks.

I can’t say as the day by day account goes that there is much more to add to this. Drinking vinegar water is not palatable and hangs around for long enough to spoil your first coffee of this day. This should may be enough to put most people off the regime entirely. The one thing I do note is that on almost every day I took the acid test, my morning appetite seriously reduced. A quick scan back over my food diary shows that pre-lunch snacks just stopped. I ate breakfast before I left the house at 7ish every day and then didn’t think of anything else until my main day job break, some time between noon and 1-30.  Did I lose a ton of weight over these two weeks then? Er, no. From the looks of it my calorie intake stayed about the same but I don’t remember being particularly hungry on those afternoons. More likely, as a smartpoints counter, I just used up those snack points with my dinner instead so all in all, no real net effect there.

My bloat has buggered off though, in fact typing this now almost three weeks on, my day to day humdrum symptoms (nausea, pain, massive hard belly that plays like a snare drum etc) are completely gone. Before you reach for the bottle, I had a single and severe, erm, let’s call it ‘attack’ five days ago so I am certainly not touting it as a cure either.

Today, my little red Next dress fits just fine and my sexy jeans don’t hurt to sit in for more than half an hour BUT I am over a kilo up on the scales from my first day on this experiment. Huh. My summary on the whole thing? A solid Meh out of ten. All this observations could have happened on their own or because of something else and having given up the morning shots of sour glory I have not reverted to my previous discomforts. I’m not about to fix the Vinegar Drinkers banner to my battle steed just yet.

Apart from being an unpleasant start to the culinary day, chucking back constant lugs of acid can have proper undesired effects on one’s teeth, gullet and stomach over the long term though I am not against investing in some of the capsule form ACV products the next time I find myself in gastro-trouble and see if there is any helpful effect from that.

I’m sorry not to have a more conclusive, um, conclusion but basically I think that the way ahead is to keep the vinegar in the salad dressings, lay off the sliced white and remember to keep more gut friendly grub like kimchi, saurkraut and natural yoghurt on the menu even on the good days.

Well that was boring wasn’t it? As you were.

 

 

Albatta

You know that funny restaurant story that everyone has from a 90’s holiday to Cyprus or somewhere similar, where you eat at a safe middle-of-the-roady place for twelve dinners in a row then on your last night, scraping out all your coins before you fly home, you take the potential gut biome defence challenge and head out to that ropey looking taverna by the supermarket and low and behold it’s only the best bloody meal you’ve had all holiday!!

Albatta in Colchester is basically the domestic equivalent of this, and I mean that in a much more complimentary way than it might initially sound.

Albatta has been on my dinner resolutions list ever since I had to actively change my walking route home to avoid suffering involuntary salivation attacks every time I passed their door in Sir Isaac’s Walk. You see Albatta smells AMAZING, and their menu looks pretty top notch too but suspiciously good in value and then you look in the window and…………..well…………it’s pretty dark, and not always very busy and I’m in touch enough with my inner Posh to admit that I’m not thrilled to eat out somewhere with a shisha yard in the back and a high Just Eat rating. Kind of a kebab shop with table service.
Well I swallowed my middle class (HA!) prejudices when one too many trusted oracles told me that I was being a middle class dick and I really needed to go and eat there, especially since I bang on about how much I love mezze all the time.

Reader, I went and ate there. And I’ve bored everyone about it and been back quite enthusiastically since and curse the day I ever moved out of their delivery zone (thanks a lot, Brightlingsea!!!).

As dining areas go, it is clean and functional with fully working aircon and some nice exposed brickwork that aesthetic types will likely appreciate. Yes, there is a big old shisha yard in the rear which can be busy of a weekend evening but seems to be a pretty separate domain from the restaurant and is barely noticeable if you are sitting in the main space. What definitely is noticeable is a glass fronted fridge marking the kitchen pass, stacked with all kinds of nutty pistachio pastry delights which you should really purchase to take home when you’ve eaten far too much hummus to contemplate dessert.

The menu is either standard or exotic depending on your reference base- but breaks down basically into mezze/starter type plates, salads, big grill plates and some kids/boring mate options of various wraps and sandwiches. And those nutty pastry things you can’t fit in.

From top left- dolmados, the mixed mezze, a quenching Almaza, chicken wings, spiced lentil soup

The mezze is impeccable, and best sampled by their mixed platter if there are a couple of you. Extra points for presentation here in some lovely painted plates with a scattering of pomegranate seeds for the instagrammers. This is easily a lunch for two in itself with the house labneh, hummus, baba ganoush, dolmados, bread and pickles plus various hot options depending on your cheesey/meaty/vegan preferences.

Let us take a moment on those pickles. Yeah, olives and gherkins, who doesn’t love those but OH look at that bright pink stuff which I have since learned is turnip. I just, the words, I can’t quite, dammit. They are so good- crunchy, piquant and ever so slightly sweet they are absolutely perfect to cut through richer and deep fried options that come along with them. Wonderful. I want all of them. Now.

The hummus and baba ganoush are full on in flavour and nicely chunky without any skimping on the garlic. Special mention also to their falafel which comes with some serious poke and the plain but perfect little fried bundles of delight known as a cheese sambosa. As one might expect from a Lebanese joint they throw out a more than acceptable fattoush but smart shoppers might opt for their chilli salad for a bit of a wake up call or go safe with a text book Greek salad or tabbouleh.

God, I’m hungry.

The bigger plates are exactly that- big- and meat heavy with the expected options of lamb, chicken and kebabs with a pleasingly spiced house rice or fries. If you are able to share food without ruining your friendships, my advice would be to stick to masses of mezze and perhaps an order of the chicken wings but then I’m someone who loves a chips-n-dips style dinner.

No filters or enhancement here, that pickled turnip really is that colour and it is AMAZING!!!!!

So the food is great, the ingredients are good and the assembly is classic but most winning is how freshly it comes to the table. As in, you can hear then shortly after smell them chucking it all on the grill just after you order and no, because not everything cooks in the same time, not all of it is served to your table in a handy two minute window but with food this good who the hell cares?

So leading on from that, service is not the shiniest ship in the galaxy, but always on the friendlier side of casual and usually free flowing with recommendations and the odd freebie to compliment what you are ordering.  The wine list is, erm, short, but you can get red, white or pink as you like or sift through a brief list of bottled beers and ciders and the smart money will take an Almaza to go with all the eastern goodness that is coming to your table.

You will order too much at Albatta. It’s just going to happen. And even with a couple of beers it isn’t going to cost you more than £20 a head, which is value that you will not find for this level of fresh and tasty food locally elsewhere (feel free to correct me on this with an invite!). Whilst a bargain dinner is always on the happy end of the scale, what I like most about Albatta is the comfort level, it really is just like tucking into a great meal at home with your mates without all the bother of learning how to cook properly and set a table. It’s a mass takeaway only there’s loads of veg and goodness in amoung the chicken wings and speaking of veg you can literally take any kind of food twat here and know they can fill their vegan, dairy free or strictly carnivorous boots.

It’s great. I love it. The end.

They aren’t online in their own right at Albatta but you can find them on Sit Isaac’s Walk in Colchester a couple of doors down from The Purple Dog pub or check out their menu here:  https://www.just-eat.co.uk/restaurants-albatta-co1/menu

The ACV Challenge!

vinegarIt’s been a while since I put myself through some kind of funny eating regime for the sake of science/personal development/something to talk about. With the winter kicking in proper and my general lack of enthusiasm for salads at the moment, my contemplated raw adventure is off the cards and I’ve already given up animal stuff and carbs in challenges past, so what now?

Apple cider vinegar.

This is exactly what it sounds like- fermented apples and acid. People talk about all kinds of benefits from this stuff from reducing bloating to correcting pre-diabetic conditions and many other appealing bonuses in between. The science is somewhat sketchy, which is why you still buy your ACV in Waitrose and not at Boots, but what the hell let’s give it a go. I must confess at this point that as much as I love science, I love me more, and have an entirely self serving motive for this challenge. Thanks to oldish age, bad genes and a fondness for bread based produce my innards have started misbehaving in the last year or so, especially during and after what one might refer to as periods of stress. At best, I get a bit grumpy and sluggish. At worst this becomes sleepless nights, chronic stomach and back pain and bloating to the point that my clothes won’t do up. It’s not fun, and rather obviously as it is a guts-based disorder I have looked at food related triggers and treatments. I have found that my symptoms ease somewhat if I avoid eating fibre, dairy, eggs, meat, fish, green veg, starchy veg and 90% of fruit. Yeah. Porridge, over boiled carrots and honey, for the win!!!!! Urgh. Whilst I do have some lovely tablets from my lovely GP to help during attacks, I forget to take the bloody things, and since some utter fucktard smashed into my car on the way to work the other week I have again found myself in a prolonged period of suffering and in need of a form of relief more reliable than my own ability to remember to swallow a pill.
So they tell me that ACV as a fermented product is of great benefit to those who suffer with The Bloat, and as I’m walking around like an over-blown balloon at the moment then what better time to put this theory to the test for a week.

At best, according to a bunch of unqualified experts, I can expect painless guts, reduced appetite from improved blood sugar control, a healthier gut biome, clearer skin, a reduction in snotty sinus related issues, lowered cholesterol, banished indigestion, boosted immunity, better energy levels and fewer sweary leg cramp episodes (another fun thing those bad genes have given me. Thanks for that fam.).
At worst, I’ve given a couple of quid to the nice people at Aspall’s and that’s that. Longer term use obviously opens up a much wider range of potential issues, you are of course taking a shot of acid first thing in the morning, but we will worry about looking at those next week.

So what am I doing? Quite simply, a tablespoon of ACV in a glass of water first thing every morning, for a week. That’s it. Everything else will be service as normal.

See you on the other side.

read the follow up here

A Month of Mondays. IN YOUR FACE SCIENCE!!!!!

garf

It has been a very special week in the diet department.

For those in need of a recap, I am assigned 30 daily points in my Weight Watchers regimen, and an additional 42 to spread through the week. Last week, I ate all of my daily points and my 42 weekly points. And another 35 points on top of that so basically I squeezed in a whole extra day. Three of these meals were had out, where it is hard to say how accurately I could estimate the ingredients but if anything they were probably under rather than over estimated. In the terms of raw maths, my diet week was a fail.

I lost one and a bit kilos.

Yup, you read that right. For the first time in quite some time my sad little weigh in app sent me an automatic Well Done Fatty message following my data input this morning. What the hell?

One initially looks for the obvious fake success tricks, however I am pretty sure that I’m not especially dehydrated nor at a hormonally favourable point for a weigh in.  I did not exercise any harder or more frequently than usual. Actually more than my mere points were against me- there were a couple of late nights and a highly skewed level of carbohydrate consumption in the mix also. I think I had a bit of chocolate every day at work. Sometimes two. Following on from this, the majority of my extra points were not spent on sensible stuff like chicken breast and plain baked potatoes oh no- more like a curry, a couple of gins and now I think of it a rather smashing Lindor bar in the cinema that I forgot to point until now so that pushes my overpoints up by another 10.

I don’t know how this loss has happened, all observation data is in direct contraction of the results,  but I have 2 observations. The first is that because I carried on tracking even though I knew I wasn’t doing very well, well, I knew I wasn’t doing very well, and this made me rethink a couple of choices over the end of the week. For the first time ever I sat in our favourite Saturday breakfast spot and jotted up the damage on their menu options and strayed away from my usual avocado toast option to a surprisingly points-cheaper veggie ‘fry’ up. I also skipped out on naan bread with the Saturday curry-in-law visit and swapped my rice allowance for an extra popadum. I made myself go out on a little Sunday run that I could have easily avoided and resisted the call of that cornflake Ritter bar in the cupboard last night because I knew I had really already done badly enough. Keeping a real note of how off the rails I was going actually saved me from going any further astray, when it usually has the opposite effect of making me think oh fuck it then make mine a large one, it’s not like it can get any worse.

The second point of note is that I had a relatively relaxed week. I got in some outdoorsy time and had a nice night out with a good friend to a not-good film. Work was ok, apart from that irksome thing of having to actually get up in the mornings and go there and I ditched more than half of my usual TV binge time in favour of a thick blanket and a good book. Nothing to write home about. No traumas either.

Hmm.

Anyway, it’s only a week, anything could happen, and I’m not about to abandon the plan or advocate doubling down on points three days a week. I do feel more inclined to keep a very close eye on this though. Until next time.

BMI Today: Still unfavourable

How do I feel today? Fine. As in OK actually fine, not meh fine.

Did I stay on points last week? As above.

How bad was the weekend? Positively restrained by recent standards.

Insights: Again, as above.

Best Thing I Ate All Week:  A massive bowl of lentils and chorizo with veg and too much garlic. A whopping 19 point dinner which was pushed up with peas and a corn on the cob on the side. Fab.

A Month of Mondays- Pass the lettuce!

 

garfUnsurprisingly, living without a kitchen for just over a week whilst having one set of parental units staying and the other set on standby for a blow out birthday lunch has not resulted in me having a good loss to report.

If you aren’t cooking for yourself, accurately calculating weight watchers points is nigh on impossible. I would also hazard to say that when faced with nothing more than a kettle and a plug in blender in terms of cooking equipment it is pretty much impossible to stick to the plan anyway. I had two workmen and my mother to account for from a fridge and bread basket which I can promise you is not an easy fix with one vegetarian and two fussy sods prone to hangry fits. It was 8 days in total. There were takeaways and pub visits amounting to, I think, four hot meals provided by others. The rest was accounted for from ruthless attacks on the cheese, cold meat and quiche section of my local co op.

I put on this week.

200g.

Yip, my weigh in after a good ten days off target, eating cheese and drinking too much has resulted in a gain of roughly one fifth of a kilo. I don’t know how this isn’t 10 times this much, but I’m going to take it gladly and crack on. Oddly enough by the fourth or fifth day living on Camembert sandwiches and hummus pots both the Mr and myself reported feeling generally pretty crap. He was full of flu-like symptoms and I was visibly bloaty, pale and gross. More so than usual. Come Saturday morning, when the cooker was back in and the sink had a drain we trundled off to fill our German discount trolley of choice with a massive amount of vegetables. Peas and green cabbage never tasted so necessary. Other than the obvious win of my spanking new floor tiles and worktops, I am not proud of nor happy about any of this. I feel like I should go back to my scales and ask for some appropriate punishment because this is not right. Ok so it was stressful so there were some adrenaline calories burned and I moved a couple of things about and de-weeded my entire garden but that can’t account for this much straying. For every hour I ran I spent three on the sofa introducing the Mothership to House Of Cards. I sense a full week on the rails only to go up a couple of kilos next week, and I will have to take that one on the rapidly developing double-chins.

Mantra for this week is mass hydration and excessive greenery. I’m actually looking forwards to it. Now where did I leave that grapefruit……..

The Perfect Fishfinger Sandwich Hunt: The Rosebud

The Rosebud Fishfinger Sandwich. The secret is in the peas.


It’s been a while since I went out for a decent fishfinger sandwich, infact some previous outings had rather put me off the idea for a spell. Not so this week, when the Mr and I found ourselves out for a local pint and a spot of dinner. As a holiday treat, we head to our closest favourite The Rosebud where we could rely on an array of fresh seafood delights to tantalise our tastebuds. Blame the cooler evenings and a day of drinking for us being faced with their stunning menu and both rather sheepishly admitting that amidst all this haute cuisine glory we could right go a fishfinger sandwich. 

Well.

Two fat cod fingers battered and measured to exactly fill a perfectly warmed ciabatta roll, gloriously topped with a slightly sweet tartare that I suspect has a mystery ingredient or two. All good, all lovely in fact but the winning touch, the piece de resistance, the stroke of simple bloody genius was the layer of seasoned crushed peas across the bottom half of the roll. I have no idea how they manage this without residual sogginess, but to be honest I don’t need to know. 

Inspired. 

Incredible.

Lots of other complimentary ‘I’ words.

I award a score of roughly 28 out of 10 and that’s before you consider the side of Godzilla-esque chunky chips and plate price of just six of your English pounds. The search might finally be over.