It’s been a while since I put myself through some kind of funny eating regime for the sake of science/personal development/something to talk about. With the winter kicking in proper and my general lack of enthusiasm for salads at the moment, my contemplated raw adventure is off the cards and I’ve already given up animal stuff and carbs in challenges past, so what now?
Apple cider vinegar.
This is exactly what it sounds like- fermented apples and acid. People talk about all kinds of benefits from this stuff from reducing bloating to correcting pre-diabetic conditions and many other appealing bonuses in between. The science is somewhat sketchy, which is why you still buy your ACV in Waitrose and not at Boots, but what the hell let’s give it a go. I must confess at this point that as much as I love science, I love me more, and have an entirely self serving motive for this challenge. Thanks to oldish age, bad genes and a fondness for bread based produce my innards have started misbehaving in the last year or so, especially during and after what one might refer to as periods of stress. At best, I get a bit grumpy and sluggish. At worst this becomes sleepless nights, chronic stomach and back pain and bloating to the point that my clothes won’t do up. It’s not fun, and rather obviously as it is a guts-based disorder I have looked at food related triggers and treatments. I have found that my symptoms ease somewhat if I avoid eating fibre, dairy, eggs, meat, fish, green veg, starchy veg and 90% of fruit. Yeah. Porridge, over boiled carrots and honey, for the win!!!!! Urgh. Whilst I do have some lovely tablets from my lovely GP to help during attacks, I forget to take the bloody things, and since some utter fucktard smashed into my car on the way to work the other week I have again found myself in a prolonged period of suffering and in need of a form of relief more reliable than my own ability to remember to swallow a pill.
So they tell me that ACV as a fermented product is of great benefit to those who suffer with The Bloat, and as I’m walking around like an over-blown balloon at the moment then what better time to put this theory to the test for a week.
At best, according to a bunch of unqualified experts, I can expect painless guts, reduced appetite from improved blood sugar control, a healthier gut biome, clearer skin, a reduction in snotty sinus related issues, lowered cholesterol, banished indigestion, boosted immunity, better energy levels and fewer sweary leg cramp episodes (another fun thing those bad genes have given me. Thanks for that fam.).
At worst, I’ve given a couple of quid to the nice people at Aspall’s and that’s that. Longer term use obviously opens up a much wider range of potential issues, you are of course taking a shot of acid first thing in the morning, but we will worry about looking at those next week.
So what am I doing? Quite simply, a tablespoon of ACV in a glass of water first thing every morning, for a week. That’s it. Everything else will be service as normal.
See you on the other side.
Food. Boom. 
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